I love to talk. This is my best as well as the worst quality. Best as it has helped me make friends, a lot of friends and connect to people easily. Worst because I connect too easily and sometimes I am taken for granted. Still I talk a lot!!!
Ironically, there are some serious situations where I find myself at loss of words. However nicely I have prepared for it, whenever I have to speak to a group of people, my mind goes blank. At that point, I cannot feel my legs and my stomach starts going upside down. No notes, no techniques, no preparation of 2 hrs works for that 30 minutes thing/speech and I end up wrapping it all in 5 minutes. 5 minutes is the time when I have worked on the topic from scratch. God forbid if I ever have to explain something I have not ever touched before. After the agony, a thing which keeps coming to my mind is "I have lost all the respect in anyone's mind who has seen me like this" and then I cannot sleep for a couple of days not just because of the problem but because of the humiliation.
Before today I believed that it is just me and though I have heard of this term, I never met anyone facing this same problem but today I did. I saw someone going through the exact same thing as I do. Strangely enough, I was feeling the exact same thing I feel when this happens with me, legs going numb and stomach doing weird things.
You know how I always have kind of a "box" in which I have locked all the bad thoughts so that I am not tensed all the time, well this one escaped out today. It was different seeing someone else having the exact same problem as I do.
As this person is someone I respect a lot and we have a lot of other things in common as well, sharing a problem with him makes me happy/less sad in 3 ways : First is, I can share it with someone who actually knows what it feels like. Secondly, I haven't lost even the least bit of respect for him so I guess if someone does respect me, he/she will never lose it just because of this unfortunate problem. Thirdly I think I finally might be able to find a solution with his support.
GLOSSOPHOBIA!!! I hate you soooo much!!! I will defeat you!! I will!!
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